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Style

What to Wear and What to Avoid During the Cold Months

Elegance is a way of life, an immeasurable way of styling, a beautiful way to express femininity. Most women like to feel like an elegant woman. However, you won’t be blamed if this is the last thing on your mind in sub-zero temperatures! However, there is a way to look stunning and be warm at the same time. Here are a list of do’s and dont’s of winter fashion.

Invest in a fur (or faux) fur coat

This is probably one of the easiest ways to look luxurious when it comes to winter fashion. Depending on how you do wear it you could instantly level up your look and look amazing at the same time. When choosing a fur coat (or a faux fur if you are that way inclined), choose a coat that is true to size. If you go a size up, you risk looking like a giant furball. If you go a size down, the sleeves and the body of the coat will look short and could ruin your look.

Instagram: _alena_alena_
  • If you are wearing a long evening gown, opt for either a full-length coat or a midi coat if you find a full-length coat too opulent looking.
  • A short fur coat looks great with a pair of jeans but avoid when wearing with long dresses
  • Stick to neutral colours such as white, navy, black and white. You may lean towards street style fashion with louder colours
  • Don’t over accessorise when wearing a fur coat; you may risk looking overdone
  • Quality is key- there is nothing worse than seeing faux fur coats that look borderline plastic. If you are choosing a faux fur coat, please invest in a good quality coat as this will improve your overall look.

Wear a felt hat

Hats are literally such a great accessory which has the ability to completely change your look. I love hats as they are so classy and are available in so many different styles, fabrics and colours. Among my favourite styles for an everyday look are fedora, beret and flat top. If you are looking for a hat to wear for an occasion, styles such as sinamays and wide brim hats work well. Your ultimate guide to hats

Instagram: shopgypsyqueen

Don’t forget your wool scarf

Scarves are an essential part of any winter fashion wardrobe- not to speak of a winter wardrobe. Scarves are and accessory that every elegant lady should have in her wardrobe. During the winter time, if you are wearing a bulky coat such as a fur coat, try to get a scarf that matches the colour of your coat. However, if you are wearing a long coat a scarf is a great accessory to neatly wrap around your neck and tuck into your coat. You could also be flexible when it comes to the choice of fabric and colour with this kind of coat.

Add a Cashmere jumper to your closet 

Cashmere is an excellent fabric that is made from goat hair and has a luxury feel to it. However, this the manufacturing of this fabric does result in cruelty to animals- goats don’t have much fat so shearing them of their hair result in many of them freezing to death- so many people choose to abstain from wearing this. Wool jumpers are also a great alternative and although they may not be as luxurious, high quality wool jumpers offer great insulation and look and feel nice.

Line your leather boots

During the cold winter months- and especially if you live in the Nordic countries or even Russia where the winter months are extremely bitter, insulating footwear is a must. Now is the time to put away the suede stilettos and flat shoes. Leather boots are excellent because they are waterproof; however, they don’t provide much warmth. Sheepskin insoles and socks are great ways to keep your feet warm during lower temperatures.

Instagram: emilyvonstrasser

Invest in a waist bag

a.k.a the ‘bumbag’ this bag is a great way to keep your hands warm in your pockets during the bitter cold months. They are a great alternative to  handbags which can be annoying when you are likely to be wearing bulky coats during the winter. They range from smal to medium in size to ensure you have enough space to keep your essentials but small enough so it doesnt weigh heavy on your hips. The last thing you want is to keep putting your bag over your shoulder when it slides off.

Photo courtesy of rightful owner
Photo courtesy of rightful owner

Keep your sandals in the back of your shoe closet

Sandals are a no-no for winter fashion. They do not look classy- on the contrary, wearing sandals in the gale winds and ice cold weather risk making you look like you don’t know how to put things together. The only time you should consider wearing a pair of sandals in the winter is to an exclusive ball or gala event as you are likely to wear a floor length gown. Also, ensure that you have minimal exposure to the cold- so hop out of your car, right into the venue. No walking.

Instagram: lawstore

Generally, it can be diffuKeep short sleeves to a minimum

Don’t wear skimpy clothing (actually, avoid this altogether!)

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Etiquette

How ladylike is your speech?

In today’s society, there is countless material available designed to help women become better in many facets of their lives. From their careers to improving the way they feel about themselves, to dealing with a range of inner struggles. As useful as this advice may be, we must not forget how important it is to display good qualities in our everyday life. One thing that most people engage in on a daily basis is conversation. A truly elegant woman not only presents herself well in terms of her physical appearance but also in the way she engages with others.

Our tongue is the most powerful weapon we possess. With it, we can tear down, persuade, build people up and even ruin our reputation- something we may have spent years trying to build up. As an elegant woman, it is so important to use it in a positive way. Read on to ensure that you exude elegance and class in every way including the way you speak- and what you speak about.

Do not shout

It is one of the most difficult things to be able to remain composed and poised when we are placed in an excruciatingly uncomfortable position. We have all faced that familiar situation- that colleague who always looks for the perfect opportunity to discredit you in front of subordinates or that ‘friend’ who always seems to malign you with cutting sarcasm in front of people. Whatever the situation may be, elegant ladies, do NOT allow such actions to drive you to the point where you retaliate in like manner.

It takes real strength of character to remain calm in such situations but doing so will only propel you into  ladylike territory. There is a saying, ‘never argue with a fool as onlookers will not be able to tell the difference’. Ladies, keep calm, remain fabulous and keep it moving. If you refuse to retaliate in kind- or retaliate at all, you can be assured that you will always remain dignified and graceful like the true lady you are.

Don’t engage in gossip

Image: dailymail.co.uk

Granted, not all gossip is bad. We get excited when we hear of an old friend getting married or having a baby or getting a promotion at work. As humans,  we have a natural inclination to interact with each other on a societal level. We have a need to communicate and sometimes the easiest topics to speak about are other people. However, the kind of gossip that elegant women should avoid at all costs is the malicious chatter that we wouldn’t necessarily want the person in question to hear.

On the opposite end of the ‘good gossip’ spectrum, is the kind of speech that could easily result in the loss of a good reputation, friendships and even livelihoods- something that we would never want to be seen to facilitate. Elegant women do not find it necessary to speak idly about others and certainly do not tear other women down. Exude confident elegance by staying out of conversations when they begin to veer towards the negative; better yet, refrain from entertaining such conversations altogether.

Don’t be the centre of every conversation

Ladies, who doesn’t like some attention? Whether it is from friends that we love or that guy we have been pining over for ages- we as human beings need to feel loved- not ignored. However, there is always such a thing as ‘too much’. Elegant women prefer to be intriguing as opposed to a complete open book. This can certainly occur when you are having such an amazing time with a group and (perhaps have had too much to drink) find yourself constantly talking and interrupting. Don’t. Yes, we want to be social; we don’t want to give the impression of aloofness, but we also want to be modest.  Maintain some mystery about you and keep onlookers guessing.

Don’t endeavour to be the person everyone notices and certainly do not go out of your way to be the centre of attention or the joke of the evening- you are not a clown.

Be an active listener

It is a natural inclination to want to be heard- to get our point across; to fight our corner. It is so much easier to speak than to listen. We may find ourselves being on the receiving end of a friend’s woes or being confronted about something that we may have said. In these situations, it is very easy to go on the defensive. However, we should keep in mind that if we do not listen to all the facts, our defence will be weak anyway. It is better to listen to the other person entirely prior to speaking. We would avoid interjecting and doing anything else that could cause tension- such as pulling faces.

Speak in a paced manner

Speaking in a paced, slow manner is always a good technique especially when we want to diffuse a situation. If we rev up the pace in which we speak and increase our tone, this will only further exacerbate an already heated situation. Not only will speaking slowly reduce friction, it will also  enable us to maintain our grace. Speaking in such a way demonstrates true strength of character and the ability to exert self-control. Never would we want to stoop low by speaking in a way unbecoming of an elegant lady.

Ladies, as challenging as it may be to follow these tips, with practice you will be a seasoned professional in the art of effective communication. As mentioned earlier, exuding elegance is not confined to the exterior. Your character and the way you communicate in a variety of situations can really mean the difference between being an elegant woman and being rude.

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Style

Do you Love or Loathe Heels?

Are you the type to wear heels on every occasion? What kinds of heels do you tend to wear?

Ladies if you do love heels this post is for you. If you loathe heels, this post is also for you.

It is a given that the type of heels you wear definitely depends on the occasion and circumstance. There is nothing more baffling than seeing a woman waddle through the rain to catch the bus or buckling on paving stones in a pair of four-inch heels. There is a time and place for this kind of footwear. It is also equally mortifying to see a woman wearing three-inch platform heels to her work colleague’s auntie’s daughter’s baby shower. In essence, the only things that could go wrong with heels are: 1. The place you are wearing them to; 2. the height of the heel and 3; the quality. Everything else you can circumvent (well, almost). So, without further ado, let’s go into more detail and I promise you, once you have taken these tips on board, you will become a true elegant lady, who walks effortlessly in heels.

What types of heels?

When choosing a pair of heels to wear, the first thing that should influence your decision is the occasion. You need to ask yourself how appropriate are the shoes to wear to the event/occasion. One of the main deciding factors will be the height of the heel. Christian Louboutin once famously said ‘the higher the better’. Ladies, this is just not true! There is nothing elegant about a woman who is clearly struggling to walk in heels and who simply ends up looking like a blind duck-billed platypus-with bunions! You must choose a heel height that is high enough to exude femininity but comfortable enough to walk in- and even sit in. You don’t want to have to remove your shoes half- way through the dinner party because you are in agonising pain. Make sure you get the correct size for your feet and even wear gel insoles to ensure comfort.

Wedges

Wedges are an excellent choice to wear to polo matches as this enables you to walk freely in the vicinity without having to worry about getting your heels stuck in the grass. It also provides you with good height. They are also very elegant and looks good with trousers, skirts and dresses.

Instagram: basicbecca
Block heels

Block heels are a great style of shoe to wear as this kind of heel is not only very stylish but also is very comfortable. These types of heels are suitable to wear in all kinds of occasions from the office to a day out at the mall.

Ballet pumps

Flat shoes are such a chic and cute way to complete a ladylike outfit when attending a polo match. If you are not inclined to wear heels, invest in a beautiful pair of leather pumps which are not only comfortable but also stylish and appropriate for the hot weather.  Our favourite ballet pumps for 2020

Stilettos

Stilettos are the creme de la creme of the elegant lady’s shoe closet. Stilletos are chic, elegant and sexy all at once! These pointed beauties can be worn with almost any outfit and can glam up any look.

Stilettos are a beautiful shoe that makes you look taller and forces you to correct your posture but can also go wrong. As a rule of thumb, ensure yoou heels are not too high for comfort. Avoid platform heels with short and tight dresses as these could potentially look tacky.

Where to wear them

Whether you have been invited to a wedding, conference, dinner party or polo match, you could actually end up ruining your day/evening because your shoes have become so unbearably uncomfortable. Ladies, it is essential that you choose the right type of shoe for the occasion.

Polo match

  • This is a great occasion to network with the upper echelons of society and also the perfect occasion to dress up. Polo matches normally take place during the spring/summer months in the western hemisphere and all year round in other parts of the world such as South Africa, Ghana etc. Ordinarily, spectators watch the match from the side lines, away from the playing field. However, at many polo matches, spectators can come onto the playing field after the match to meet and greet the polo players and take pictures etc. If this is the case, it will be sensible to take into consideration the kind of heels you wear.

Evening ball

  • If wearing a floor sweeping gown, mid heels are ideal if you want more height. However, as your feet are likely to be covered, it will probably be worthwhile taking a sensible approach to your footwear. Of course, you wouldn’t want to wear an unattractive pair of rubber shoes but you would do well to wear an elegant mid heel stiletto or a higher, thicker heel. This will also enable you to have a successful meet and greet and dance the night away.

First date

  • I once made the silly mistake of meeting my date for the first time in a pair of 120mm Pigalle Louboutin’s outside a busy London underground station. Not only could I not walk in them, I was also in immense pain. I looked ridiculous trying walk on the cobbled streets. Needless to say, I took them off and humbly wore my flat shoes for the rest of the evening. He later admitted to me later on that he hates those shoes. I don’t blame him. Moral of the story- leave the 120’s for posing at the dinner table.

Work/ Business Conference

  • Heels are a great way to exude confidence when you are at corporate events as long as your heels are a height you will feel comfortable walking and standing in, Steer away from any open toe and platform styles and ensure your heels are not worn out. Again, stick to neutral shades such as black and navy as these are formal colours which tend not to distract.
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Beauty

FRAGRANCE 

Myriads of choices are available whether you walk into Harrods, your local supermarket or pharmacy, there is a variety on display, gracing the glass cabinets. As you are on the road to levelling up your look into becoming an elegant woman, the small things matter just as much as the obvious things. It is a given that good personal hygiene is very important but what about the cherry on the cake? I remember when I was a little girl, every time my mother would go out- even to the local post office, her signature scent would permeate the room. Once I smelt that, I knew she was on her way out or out already. Knowing by Estee Lauder had my mum’s name written all over it. Let’s explore the reasons why perfume is important and a significant part of your leveling- up journey.

Perfume complements a look

Ladies could you imagine looking stunning in an amazing gown, with your make-up and hair looking splendid- only to smell like sweaty armpits? This would instantly kill the look! Not only should we look the part but we must also smell the part too! An amazing smelling perfume completes your overall look and this isn’t limited to just grand evening balls; perfume could be worn every day of the week. Just don’t forget to tailor your smell to the occasion. If you are going to your office job, a very strong, distinctive scent may be inappropriate.

Instagram: vlogsbyrosey

Perfume is feminine

There is nothing more feminine and elegant than seeing a beautifully dressed woman who smells incredible. It is also a sign that she cares about her appearance and how she is perceived to people.

Timeless scents

Some beautiful scents worth investing in:

Guerlain Insolence,

Chanel No.5,

Yves Saint Laurent Opium

Tom Ford Black Orchid

Valentino Donna

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Lifestyle

Have you ever had a bath, walked out the house and shortly after smell an odour? Have you ever experienced a foul, lingering smell after a light workout at the gym? Do your friends seem uncomfortable around you? Do your friends make comments about a disturbing smell piercing the air every time you are around? Well, sorry to break it to you but you may suffer from body odour.

What is the cause of body odour?

Caused when bacteria lingers in on parts of your body where air flow is restricted such as your armpits, between thighs and feet. This is usually exacerbated by hot weather and general poor health. However, do not fret. This is a problem you can get rid of and get back on track to becoming an elegant woman

Shower at least twice a day

This is something you can’t skip if you want to maintain odour free. If you are prone to sweating easily showring to get rid of the dry sweat is essential

Photo credited to Pinterest

Drink plenty of water

Drinking plenty of water will enable you to remain hydrated and improve circulation. When you are undertaking activity such as exercise, constant hydration throughout your regimen will flush out toxins within your body to help you stay cool, fresh and odour free- and gives you superb skin too!

Use an effective anti perspirant

There are huge ranges of deodorants available in local stores and some brands promise protection of up to 48 hours. These are extremely effective so consider purchasing these. If you are oversensitive to such products, conside using organic products or ones which contain natural healing properties such as aloe vera. Anti perspirants aren’t as effective when used on damp skin as water particls that are left behind an cause a foul odour so make sure you dry problem areas thoroughly before using. However, ensure your skin is adequately moisturised before using these products as their harsh nature can cause your skin to crack.

Use fragrance free products for feminine parts of your body

This is essential as you could have allergic reactions if your skin is sensitive and you use harsh products. There are many products on the market such as Simple and Femfresh that cater to women who have sensitive skin.

Wear natural fibres 

Natural fibres such as cotton and linen are excellent as they facilitate airflow around areas of your body. They are friction free and allow all parts of your body to breathe freely.

Shave your armpits regularly

Hairy armpits are a breeding ground for bacteria. Shaving your armpits regularly can help prevent the accumulation of bacteria and can keep your underarms clean and odour free. It can also allow free airflow and eliminate any foul smells.

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Etiquette

When you are on a date, who should foot the bill?

For a few moments imagine the following scenario. You are a pretty, dainty woman of average means.  The year is 1940. A debonair gentleman has asked you to accompany him for a nice meal at a splendid Italian restaurant- understated but quite fine. Fast forward a week later, he picks you up in his 1939 Cadillac Sixty Special. He opens the door for you, helps you into your seat and whisks you away. After some light chatter in the car, you both arrive at the restaurant and time flies. You indulge in excellent Sicilian cuisine, and fine wine and bask in the light of each other’s company. The night ends, the maitre d’ places the bill in his hand. He hands over the cash and the waiter thanks him. It was a seamless, flawless evening.

Image: Black Cosmopolitan January 2017

How times have changed

Fast forward almost 80 years later, things have changed dramatically. Chants and protests abound across the globe. The advocating of women’s rights ring through western society and feminism- let’s not forget feminism is the ‘it’-word of this decade. Feminists staunchly exert their rights of equal pay, equal opportunities and gender equality- and rightly so.

Romantic couple dating at night in pub

Let’s take the Nordic countries for example. If a man and woman go on a dinner date, it is apparently a given that they split the bill in half. No questions asked. Travel eastwards to Saudi Arabia and other middle eastern countries and this kind of practice is practically unheard of. Culture absolutely is a deciding factor on who pays the bill on a first date and even subsequent dates. In the western part of the world for example the UK there are many factors which determine who should foot the bill.  This could include how informal the meeting is, who instigated the date and how familiar you are with each other before taking this step. In this day and age we should not assume that because we are a woman, we are automatically exempt from paying the bill although there is a general consensus that the person who normally instigates the date is the one who foots the bill. As an elegant woman however, it is essential that the following points are adhered to when on a date with someone. Ten dining tips for the woman of elegance.

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Beauty

Let’s talk about how to create elegant nails and feminine hands.

The beauty industry in the UK is currently valued at £4 billion. £1.7 billion of this is attributed to the nail industry. Why is such a small and seemingly inconspicuous part of our exterior given so much attention? Well, it’s all in the detail. A woman’s hands are considered to be one of the most feminine parts of her body. One that is exposed on a day-to-day basis. It is easy to see how much a woman looks after herself by looking at the state of her hands- which obviously includes her fingernails.

You just have to consult social media and see the variety of designs nail artists are able to create- from the simple and elegant to the wacky and wonderful. Well, ladies, there is no need to spell out that we are aspiring to the latter.

Before we get into discussing nail colours and designs, it is important to go back to the drawing board and ensure that the foundations are correct before the decorations. We want to ensure that our hands (and feet of course!) are supple, shiny, well moisturised and our fingernails unchipped and cuticle free.

Follow these steps to ensure your hands are beautifully feminine with elegant nails for 2020

  1. Soak your fingers in olive oil for 2 minutes every day for 2 weeks. This will moisturise your nail bases and provide them with much needed organic moisture.
  2. Increase your calcium intake– if possible, do this naturally. However, if you do decide to take supplements, do so under proper medical supervision
  3. Cut off excess cuticles. Dead skin surrounding your nails are unattractive and annoying. Be sure to trim these away prior to polishing them
  4. Start taking biotin– This mineral is truly essential for healthy nails, skin and hair. It is available in liquid or tablet form and gives your nails the essential nutrients it needs to grow strong and bright.
  5. Moisturise, moisturise, moisturise Ladies, please do not think that you can get away with washing your hands and simply drying them. You need more than that. Moisturise your hands every time you wash them or even at the first sign of dryness. If you do have dry hands only a continuous moisturising regime will eliminate this. Get into the habit of doing this regularly.

Elegant nail designs for elegant ladies

Now that we have spoken about how to get exceptionally ladylike hands,  let us now move on to nail colours and the designs you should avoid vs the styles you should wear for the ultimate elegant nails.

We have seen it all. From crystal clad colours of the rainbow to the pointed shapes which look like the claws of an ostrich. Even though these may be appropriate as an art form, for the everyday elegant look and even during glam evening events, these should really be avoided.

  1. French manicures always win No matter what the occasion may be, you can never go wrong with a French manicure. They are classy, beautiful and chic. Timeless and stunning.
  2. Red nails look beautiful– especially in the winter. Whether you opt for a short or long look, red talons look sultry and classy- sometimes leaning on the side of naughty too!
  3. Neutral colours are also stunning Colours such as light pink, white, mauve and even clear are very classy. You can’t really go wrong with these colours.
  4. Avoid bright, garish colours The women of Windsor are forbidden from colouring their nails- they are advised to stick to neutral shades of white and subtle pink for the simple fact that these are the most elegant colours on the palate. However, if we are to choose colours, these should not be loud.
  5. Steer away from beige hues These tend to make your nails look like you have been smoking for years- and it’s starting to show!
Instagram: wenaildit
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Style

Ballet pumps and flat shoes are such an important staple as they are the kind of shoes you wear on a day to day basis whether going for a casual lunch or within the office. Not only must they fit correctly, but they must also be sturdy enough to withstand the constant friction against the floor and gritty surfaces- there is nothing worse than a worn out flat heel. It is worth investing in a good quality pair of ballet pumps which will last you a long time or else you could end up spending more money in the long run having to replace cheap shoes frequently. Here is a list of our favourite flats this decade

Dior J’adior Ballet pumps in technical canvas £560

These shoes are a timeless classy shoe that is worth investing in. They can be worn with any outfits from casual to formal.

Russell and Bromley Quilted Ballet Flats £185

If you don’t want to splurge on a pair of designer flats, these quilted pair from Russell & Bromley are a great alternative.

Chanel- Leather ballet flats £560

Instagram: corinna_xx

This beautiful pair by Chanel are a timeless wardrobe accessory which are extremely comfortable and chic.

Tory Burch Minnie Travel Ballet pumps £225

These gorgeous leather pumps are excellent quality and are super chic. If you don’t wan’t to splurge a huge amount on flats, this is definitely a great alternative.

Jimmy Choo- GALA Black Flora Lace Painty Flats- £495

These lace beauties are definitely a great alternative to heels on a dinner night with the girls. The are also excellent to wear in the office.

Manolo Blahnik Hangisi £750

Instagram: thelittlesilverspoon

These are definitely the creme de la creme of flat shoes. The distinctive Swarovski motif is eye catching and the satin is absolutely stunning. These are a beautiful shoe to wear on different occasions from weddings to breakfast mornings at Cafe de Paris.

Hobbs- Women’s Prior Ballerina Zebra- £69

Courtesy of Hobbs

These shoes are super cute and are versatile. The Zebra print can be worn with many plain colours and in many settings.

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Style

Want to look elegant in pleated skirts?  They are increasingly making a comeback on our runways. They were everywhere during the 70’s and 80’s and have solidified their place as a fashion item that every elegant woman should own. These skirts not only elegant but are very versatile from pairing them with jumpers for a casual boohoo chic look to wearing them with off shoulder tops. These skirts can be worn for a variety of occasions.

Pleated skirts are amazing as they are so versatile so don’t be afraid to wear them with high heel boots for a more formal look or even open toe sandals for a comfy yet elegant look. They are also excellent for women who are particularly top heavy as its flare design tends to hide any bulges underneath. Wear a double breasted blazer and a waist belt with your pleated skirt for an elegant chic look.

Instagram: lorena.grapcicov

Pleated skirts are also a favourite wardrobe staple as they tend to come in a variety of materials such as leather, suede, silk and chiffon and can be worn with most outfits. Wearing one with a thick, acrylic jumper will ensure you are stylish and kept warm during the winter months.

Don’t shy away from bold colours when wearing pleated skits. They are such a modest, classy item of clothing that you can afford to experiment with colours you wouldn’t normally wear.

Instagram: kat001ia

Pleated skirts are perfect for creating the smart boohoo look so if this is the look you are going for, don’t be afraid to team your ankle length skirt with an oversized blazer for a festival chic look.

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