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Lifestyle
**THIS COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED!** We announced our winner on the 23rd April 2022 on our Instagram Stories! Congratulations to the winner! My Elegant Ladies,Woman Of Elegance is now a community of 100k+ Subscribers!
Founded in 2019, the brand’s CEO Vivienne Abena saw a way to merge her passion of the arts, elegant style and etiquette with her love of teaching and as a result Woman Of Elegance was born.
I honestly could not do this without you amazing ladies so by way of saying Thank You and showing my heartfelt gratitude to you, I am giving away a beautiful gift- a product of Elegance, class and timelessness- a wonderful silk scarf by the eponymous brand, Hermes known for its coveted prestige.
Now let’s get into the Competition!
COVETED is the word!In one of my YouTube videos, I used the word ‘Coveted‘; I’ve only ever used this word once.
In order for one of you to win this stunning, elegant piece, you must follow these steps: 1. Ascertain which video I used the word ‘coveted’ in and at what time stamp. Send me a DM via Instagram informing me of the answer.
2. Tag 3 friends in this Instagram post and follow my page
3. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel Woman Of Elegance.
The FIRST PERSON to send me the answer will win the prize!
The closing date for this competition is 30th April 2022. I look forward to all of your responses! Vivienne xx
Style
In this Essential Handbook, you will learn the basics of:
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- Dining Etiquette
- Conversation Etiquette
- Looking polished and well presented at all times
- The types of fabrics to invest in when levelling- up your wardrobe
- The best outfits for your body shape
- The kinds of clothing to avoid
This essential guide is used for easy reference when you find yourself in those sticky situations when you are simply unsure what to do!
Ensure you refine your behaviour and polish your appearance by downloading the Woman of Elegance Handbook today!
Featured, Style
Jewellery is something that has the ability to adorn the dullest of outfits. Whether you classify yourself as feminine or not, it is something that most women wear. Jewellery has the ability to accentuate the most feminine parts of a woman’s body whilst allowing a woman to remain classy and graceful. Although jewellery can look especially beautiful if the wrong types are chosen even the most stylish women can fall victim to faux pas. Read on to ensure that from now on, you ensure that the jewellery you wear makes you a true woman of elegance.
Less is more
We have all seen it- a beautiful lady in the most stunning ballgown looking like a chandelier in the largest necklace she could find with a pair of 6-inch chandelier earrings. Ladies, this is a no-no. Bigger isn’t always better in this case- especially when you are wearing too much. A rule of thumb is that you wear one or the other. If you are opting for big or long earrings, steer clear of a necklace altogether. If your neckline is beautiful enough, you don’t need to accentuate it with anything and vice versa. If you have the most fabulous Graff diamond and emerald necklace, who needs to see anything else? Keep it simple as much as you can, which brings us on to our next point…
Keep it simple
Have you ever wondered why the Love bangle by Cartier has been a revered piece of jewellery for more than 45 years? After all it’s just a plain bangle with screws on it. The designers at Cartier knew the power behind a timeless piece of jewellery and something as plain and symbolic as this piece would never go out of fashion (Link: Jewellery pieces every elegant woman should own). Such simplicity can make any outfit look elegant- and of course, expensive.
Rule of colours
There is nothing wrong with colour- in fact, all colours are beautiful- when worn in the right way. There is also nothing wrong with multi-colour. However, I do think that this should be limited. If you are keen on wearing jewellery with more than one colour present, please ensure that your outfit is plain or is the same colour as the dominant one on your jewellery. Coco Chanel is a brilliant example of this. If you observe fashion shows dating back to the early 80’s bold colours is something that has never been a staple in this fashion house and is probably one of the reasons why it maintains the iconic, elegant status it has today- apart from that unfortunate Chanel-Pharrell capsule collection that enraged many a Chanel lover. Let’s just put that in the back of our minds, ladies.
Timeless Timepiece
Watches are a beautiful way to express class- and sometimes wealth in an unostentatious way- depending on the type you buy. Of course, we are not talking about a gentleman’s Rolex with every colour fathomable on the bezel but an understated, beautiful timepiece in a splendid meatal colour. Of course, you don’t have to be a millionaire to adorn an expensive watch. You could spend 2 figures on a timepiece and still look classy however, the rules of jewellery still apply here. If you are wearing an overly expensive watch, keep it very simple when it comes to jewellery. When it comes to branded watches, these brands will ensure timeless class: Franck Muller, Cartier, Breitling, Omega, Rolex.
Jewellery pieces every elegant woman should own
Now that we have observed some rules every elegant woman should abide by, let’s now look at some pieces that every elegant woman should own:
Pearls
Pearls are one of the most timeless and classical pieces of jewellery a woman can own- and is not confined to a particular age group either
Diamond studs
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend-literally! You can never go wrong with a pair of diamond studs if you want to elevate your look
Diamond bracelet
No matter how small the diamonds are in a bracelet- your look instantly looks elegant and expensive due to the sheer amount of stones present.
Cartier Love bangle
This iconic piece signifies love, eternity and beauty- all in a simple piece. This piece can only be removed with screws which indicate that it is a piece which can be worn for a lifetime.
Cartier Juste en Clou
This is the epitome of the aesthetic of the acetic. The beauty of simplicity. Cartier demonstrates that there is beauty in the most mundane, simplistic things in life-and is illustrated in this bangle in the shape of a nail
Alhambra by Van Cleef & Arpels
Another iconic piece by an iconic brand. Alhambra is in the shape of 5 clovers made of precious stones such as onyx and lapis lazuli. It is also instantly recognisable
Diamond ring
You certainly do not have to be married to wear one of these. Just be sure not to wear it on that particular finger- especially if you are trying to attract someone! It is a beautiful, simple piece that can be worn especially on special occasions
Earrings with coloured stones
Precious gems such as emeralds and sapphires are extremely classy- just look at the women of Windsor. These colours when set in fine jewellery has the ability to instantly level up your look
Etiquette
We have all found ourselves in that situation- we are suddenly confronted by a rude work colleague with onlookers around. They have a reputation for being unsavoury and arrogant and we know that they deserve a piece of our mind. Or, we are on the phone to a company representative who appear to be incompetent. We would have every reason to lose our cool.
Losing our patience is so easy to do nowadays. A lack of self-control is a trait that is very much tolerated in our society. Although in many cases this is justified, responding in kind when someone is rude or patronising is not the elegant thing to do. It takes strength to rise above petty behaviour
Etiquette
The importance of dealing with rudeness elegantly
Elegance is not a word that is widely used nowadays- or even popular. To many, elegance contrasts with the feminist ideals many women conform to today. We live in a society where traits such as kindness, tact and being feminine is associated with the woman of yesterday-the ideal housewife who was viewed as the subordinate within the family setting. It is associated with a weak woman without an opinion. This, however, is far from the truth.
Whether we are in the workplace, among friends or in the general public, being elegant is not limited to looks. Elegance is a quality that we always want people to associate us with. This can prove to be quite challenging when we find ourselves in awkward and challenging situations. It is easier to retaliate in kind when we feel disrespected or backed against the wall. However, it takes more strength and poise to react in the opposite way. Read on to see how to deal with rude people whilst maintaining composure and elegance.
Don’t be hasty to respond elegantly
Sometimes when we feel we are being disrespected; we want to defend ourselves. We also want to respond in a way that gives the impression that we are not one to be walked over. This is understandable. However, it is essential that we never stoop lower than we already stand. Oftentimes, when we fail to respond as expected, we put the aggressor in a corner and they often end up feeling small. This is not how to deal with situations elegantly.
Stay Calm
No response is better than a rude one.
Talk in turns
There is nothing more irritating and inelegant than speaking over another person. Not only are issues not solved this way, it often exacerbates problems and increases tension. Always speak once the other person has finished speaking as engaging in unconstructive arguments is never a classy thing to do.
Refrain from associating with argumentative people
These kinds of people have their own insecurities which they are taking out on you. It is best not to entertain such arguments and if you do, ensure that your responses are constructive otherwise you could simply end up wasting your time.
Etiquette
Ladies, please remember that elegance is a lifestyle- a way of life. Please do not think that elegance is confined to the space of your wardrobe. There are general rules of etiquette that a woman should follow whether on a first date or having a meal with friends or colleagues. Here are some dining tips for the woman of elegance.
Do not turn up empty handed
Your date may end up not being able to pay the bill for whatever reason. However, if you feel he has intentionally evaded paying, settle your share of the bill, keep it classy, keep it moving and don’t entertain his calls again. This is the beginning of things to come.
Don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu
Please leave the caviar and lobster for another day! Even if your date is wealthy, there is beauty in modesty and it would be very lady like to allow him to make the suggestion especially if he is paying for the bill.
Put your phone away
One of the most important dining tips – There is nothing more rude and uncouth than being at the dining table with a chicken wing in one hand and a mobile phone device in the other. Whilst answering telephone calls and responding to messages- and checking your social media pages is rude there may be instances when it is absolutely necessary to take a phone call. If this happens, excuse yourself and answer the phone away from the table. Keep the call brief.
Don’t engage in powder room antics at the table
This includes flossing or using a toothpick, brushing your hair (yes, some women actually do this!), spraying perfume and blowing your nose. The only think that is acceptable in terms of refreshing your look at the dining table is reapplying lipstick. No primer or liner, just lipstick. These things should be done in the ladies’ room. Hankies vs tissues: have you been doing it right
Etiquette
This is probably not a topic that you have heard being discussed or you see as being of much importance. You may say to yourself that there are more important discussions that should be had when on the journey to becoming an elegant lady. However, sometimes it’s the small things that count. What would you do if you find yourself seated at the most elegantly diner table and you have the urge to sneeze? Would you pick up a napkin on which your cutlery lays flat on to catch your sneeze or would you come equipped with something appropriate in your handbag? Well I hope it’s the latter.
Etiquette
Common conversations to avoid on a first date include the following;
So you have finally made it this far. After time spent communicating over the phone and some social media platforms, you have finally decided it’s time to take the plunge and have some face-to-face interactions. You have clearly spent time and energy communicating and there is an obvious spark. How can you ensure that you do not put the fire out even before it has barely started? Below is a list of topics that you’d do well to avoid talking about on a first date.
Money/finances
This one is a biggie. Although it is not wrong to speak about your career/job, do not put a dampener on things by discussing how much you earn and definitely don’t ask him! It is very much a private matter, and of course when the relationship develops and becomes more serious, it is a topic for discussion. Speaking about money so prematurely in a relationship can put a strain on it, and could even foster a spirit of competition. Something you’d want to avoid at all costs.
Health problems
This is a subject that is definitely dear to you and is very private. Sometimes, we need a shoulder to cry on, a good listening ear and it could be very tempting to pour your heart out on this amazing person sitting in front of you, convinced he is the one. You just want to throw caution to the wind, have faith that everything will work out and he will be the confidante you never had. Don’t. Please, just do not. Not only is it unfair to pour your problems on someone who, quite frankly, is still a stranger at this point, it also won’t do anything positive for this plant that is in the very primary stages of growth.
There are one too many stories across the internet, of people who ghost after the first date due to being bombarded with personal issues and inappropriate topics of conversation on the first date. Don’t let this happen to you. Take it slowly. Let things develop organically. Just enjoy basking in each other’s company and enjoy the meal.
Family issues
It always surprises me when I hear of women who speak about family problems with people that they are not absolutely close with, let alone men they have just met!! Even merely alluding to this type of topic should be avoided at all costs. You have finally gotten to this stage as you are intrigues by one another. It should stay there and not branch into other territory.
It is absolutely fine to discuss mundane topics such as how many siblings you have and whether they live with you etc but when you start to discuss family dynamics such as some of your siblings being step brothers and your parent’s former partners, you could be stepping into dangerous territory. It can be easy to get carried away but unfortunately, the person on the receiving end of your story could have his own perceptions of family ideals and his mind may start to overthink. Best option is to leave this depth for another day and concentrate on letting him get to know you for YOU.
Exes
This is definitely one of the conversations to avoid on a first date. Again, this goes hand in hand with the above reasons that some issues need to be kept private, or at least at the beginning stages. Please refrain from speaking about your past relationships so early. It is unnecessary and can put a strain on the relationship for no good reason. Many people suffer from feelings of insecurity and may be disposed to feelings of jealousy so speaking about how amazing your ex was is a no-go area- or how psycho he was for that matter. He may start to question your taste in men!
Other people
Ladies, please remember that on the road to becoming a truly elegant woman, there are certain behaviors which should be avoided and character traits that need to be worked on. No matter how much you are trying to revive a seemingly dead conversation or attempting to fill in awkward silent gaps, please don’t resort to speaking about other people, especially in a rude manner. This includes the waitress who is waiting your table to your boss. Think of your date as an informal interview.
There are certain things you would refrain from discussing with your prospective boss. Just because you are weary of leaving a bad impression, the same principal applies here. Unless you are on a date with a man who only has one thing on their mind, (hopefully this isn’t the case here), you would want to avoid any conversations which pertain to other people. With so many other topics of discussion you could indulge in, hobbies; sports, likes and dislikes and travel diaries. Just don’t add a third party to your list! Keep it classy and fabulous and you will be guaranteed a second date!
