Etiquette

How ladylike is your speech?

In today’s society, there is countless material available designed to help women become better in many facets of their lives. From their careers to improving the way they feel about themselves, to dealing with a range of inner struggles. As useful as this advice may be, we must not forget how important it is to display good qualities in our everyday life. One thing that most people engage in on a daily basis is conversation. A truly elegant woman not only presents herself well in terms of her physical appearance but also in the way she engages with others.

Our tongue is the most powerful weapon we possess. With it, we can tear down, persuade, build people up and even ruin our reputation- something we may have spent years trying to build up. As an elegant woman, it is so important to use it in a positive way. Read on to ensure that you exude elegance and class in every way including the way you speak- and what you speak about.

Do not shout

It is one of the most difficult things to be able to remain composed and poised when we are placed in an excruciatingly uncomfortable position. We have all faced that familiar situation- that colleague who always looks for the perfect opportunity to discredit you in front of subordinates or that ‘friend’ who always seems to malign you with cutting sarcasm in front of people. Whatever the situation may be, elegant ladies, do NOT allow such actions to drive you to the point where you retaliate in like manner.

It takes real strength of character to remain calm in such situations but doing so will only propel you into  ladylike territory. There is a saying, ‘never argue with a fool as onlookers will not be able to tell the difference’. Ladies, keep calm, remain fabulous and keep it moving. If you refuse to retaliate in kind- or retaliate at all, you can be assured that you will always remain dignified and graceful like the true lady you are.

Don’t engage in gossip

Granted, not all gossip is bad. We get excited when we hear of an old friend getting married or having a baby or getting a promotion at work. As humans,  we have a natural inclination to interact with each other on a societal level. We have a need to communicate and sometimes the easiest topics to speak about are other people. However, the kind of gossip that elegant women should avoid at all costs is the malicious chatter that we wouldn’t necessarily want the person in question to hear.

On the opposite end of the ‘good gossip’ spectrum, is the kind of speech that could easily result in the loss of a good reputation, friendships and even livelihoods- something that we would never want to be seen to facilitate. Elegant women do not find it necessary to speak idly about others and certainly do not tear other women down. Exude confident elegance by staying out of conversations when they begin to veer towards the negative; better yet, refrain from entertaining such conversations altogether.

Don’t be the centre of every conversation

Ladies, who doesn’t like some attention? Whether it is from friends that we love or that guy we have been pining over for ages- we as human beings need to feel loved- not ignored. However, there is always such a thing as ‘too much’. Elegant women prefer to be intriguing as opposed to a complete open book. This can certainly occur when you are having such an amazing time with a group and (perhaps have had too much to drink) find yourself constantly talking and interrupting. Don’t. Yes, we want to be social; we don’t want to give the impression of aloofness, but we also want to be modest.  Maintain some mystery about you and keep onlookers guessing.

Don’t endeavour to be the person everyone notices and certainly do not go out of your way to be the centre of attention or the joke of the evening- you are not a clown.

Be an active listener

It is a natural inclination to want to be heard- to get our point across; to fight our corner. It is so much easier to speak than to listen. We may find ourselves being on the receiving end of a friend’s woes or being confronted about something that we may have said. In these situations, it is very easy to go on the defensive. However, we should keep in mind that if we do not listen to all the facts, our defence will be weak anyway. It is better to listen to the other person entirely prior to speaking. We would avoid interjecting and doing anything else that could cause tension- such as pulling faces.

Speak in a paced manner

Speaking in a paced, slow manner is always a good technique especially when we want to diffuse a situation. If we rev up the pace in which we speak and increase our tone, this will only further exacerbate an already heated situation. Not only will speaking slowly reduce friction, it will also  enable us to maintain our grace. Speaking in such a way demonstrates true strength of character and the ability to exert self-control. Never would we want to stoop low by speaking in a way unbecoming of an elegant lady.

Ladies, as challenging as it may be to follow these tips, with practice you will be a seasoned professional in the art of effective communication. As mentioned earlier, exuding elegance is not confined to the exterior. Your character and the way you communicate in a variety of situations can really mean the difference between being an elegant woman and being rude.