Monday, January 17, 2022

Conversations to avoid on a first date

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Common conversations to avoid on a first date include the following;

So you have finally made it this far. After time spent communicating over the phone and some social media platforms, you have finally decided it’s time to take the plunge and have some face-to-face interactions. You have clearly spent time and energy communicating and there is an obvious spark. How can you ensure that you do not put the fire out even before it has barely started? Below is a list of topics that you’d do well to avoid talking about on a first date.

Money/finances

This one is a biggie. Although it is not wrong to speak about your career/job, do not put a dampener on things by discussing how much you earn and definitely don’t ask him! It is very much a private matter, and of course when the relationship develops and becomes more serious, it is a topic for discussion. Speaking about money so prematurely in a relationship can put a strain on it, and could even foster a spirit of competition. Something you’d want to avoid at all costs.

Health problems

This is a subject that is definitely dear to you and is very private. Sometimes, we need a shoulder to cry on, a good listening ear and it could be very tempting to pour your heart out on this amazing person sitting in front of you, convinced he is the one. You just want to throw caution to the wind, have faith that everything will work out and he will be the confidante you never had. Don’t. Please, just do not.  Not only is it unfair to pour your problems on someone who, quite frankly, is still a stranger at this point, it also won’t do anything positive for this plant that is in the very primary stages of growth.

There are one too many stories across the internet, of people who ghost after the first date due to being bombarded with personal issues and inappropriate topics of conversation on the first date. Don’t let this happen to you. Take it slowly. Let things develop organically. Just enjoy basking in each other’s company and enjoy the meal.

Family issues

It always surprises me when I hear of women who speak about family problems with people that they are not absolutely close with, let alone men they have just met!! Even merely alluding to this type of topic should be avoided at all costs. You have finally gotten to this stage as you are intrigues by one another. It should stay there and not branch into other territory.

It is absolutely fine to discuss mundane topics such as how many siblings you have and whether they live with you etc but when you start to discuss family dynamics such as some of your siblings being step brothers and your parent’s former partners, you could be stepping into dangerous territory. It can be easy to get carried away but unfortunately, the person on the receiving end of your story could have his own perceptions of family ideals and his mind may start to overthink. Best option is to leave this depth for another day and concentrate on letting him get to know you for YOU.

Exes

This is definitely one of the conversations to avoid on a first date.  Again, this goes hand in hand with the above reasons that some issues need to be kept private, or at least at the beginning stages. Please refrain from speaking about your past relationships so early. It is unnecessary and can put a strain on the relationship for no good reason. Many people suffer from feelings of insecurity and may be disposed to feelings of jealousy so speaking about how amazing your ex was is a no-go area- or how psycho he was for that matter. He may start to question your taste in men!

Other people

Ladies, please remember that on the road to becoming a truly elegant woman, there are certain behaviors which should be avoided and character traits that need to be worked on. No matter how much you are trying to revive a seemingly dead conversation or attempting to fill in awkward silent gaps, please don’t resort to speaking about other people, especially in a rude manner. This includes the waitress who is waiting your table to your boss. Think of your date as an informal interview.

There are certain things you would refrain from discussing with your prospective boss.  Just because you are weary of leaving a bad impression, the same principal applies here. Unless you are on a date with a man who only has one thing on their mind, (hopefully this isn’t the case here), you would want to avoid any conversations which pertain to other people. With so many other topics of discussion you could indulge in, hobbies; sports, likes and dislikes and travel diaries. Just don’t add a third party to your list! Keep it classy and fabulous and you will be guaranteed a second date!

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